Episode 113
Get Ready

The Farmers' Almanac predicts a warm wet winter for Michigan. Fuck that. Yesterday I started sealing the greenhouse, in anticipation of deep-freeze temperatures and blustery winds coming off Crystal Lake. I am preparing for an intense winter. Just 10k years ago Michigan was covered by the southern fingertips of glaciers. Is human activity changing the climate? Probably. Is Earth just going to sit back and take it?

I think not.

Dan in tent revival mode

Plus I've got my own agenda, a strong desire. This spring Shoalie and Spray sold me the commodore's iceboat, big enough for two. So for the winter of 2018–2019, I've got a second iceboat I can teach with.

You might have seen my iceboat explorations last winter, when I only had the one man Sprinter. My first winter with the Sprinter I had zero iceboat experience and scared myself shitless. By the end of my second Sprinter winter, last year, I was starting to get the idea, and feeling like I almost might know what I was doing. If we get ice on our lake this winter, there will certainly be an expansion of iceboat virtuosity. And more movies.

So we've got to get ready for greatness, and prepare for a badass winter. Fie on the Farmers' Almanac! Reality is ours for the making. Where there is joy, there's a cascade of primordial energy, molten power flowing into the templates of our dreams. Build your greenhouses, score a slightly tight set of merino wool long underwear at your local thrift store. Or whatever shape and flavor your desires take, start getting ready. Because they are coming.

Speaking of desires, I started wondering whether DOG could win Cannes. From April to July of 2018, we posted scenes for feedback in Season Two Crowd Creation, but I hadn't looked at the scenes since August. I've been busy doing other things... enjoying summer, selling off equipment from the family farm, playing with rocks in the water, freeing the spirits of ruined sailboats. So I've had time away from the movie.

A few weeks back a gorgeous friend stopped by whom I hadn't seen in a couple of years. After we shared a stack of Shri Fugi Spilt vegan wheat-free (and sprouted) pancakes, I showed her some of the scenes and we played the feedback game. Watching with my prodigal friend, I realized that Daughter of God truly is unique. I've never seen anything like this... and I've watched a lot of weird movies, to be sure.

Not only unique, but there's an opportunity here to realize something special. Awesome. Exemplary. DOG could take Cannes.

Infinite intelligence tells us that really ambitious dreams are way easier to realize than puny ones... maybe because so much energy gets flowing. I forget why, but I like the idea a lot. I love having really outrageous dreams and going fully audacious. I love the feelings big dreams bring.

Dreaming big is a crackerjack way for me to feel all that I am. Sure, winning means kudos and recognition, but that's just external circumstance and aftermath, trivia. Here's how I get the energy moving: Who would I have to be to win Cannes? What kind of person directs a movie that can sweep arguably the most prestigious film festival on the planet? Am I ready to be he? How would I feel if I were that guy right now?

The movie isn't done, not quite. I can imagine being done with the movie, I can see the done-ing up ahead. Who do I want to become by finishing this movie? That's why finishing is so much fun. I'm making myself, awesome.

I'm out of the closet about the winning Cannes thing, and I'm glad. I thought I might keep this desire my little secret, I mean who is crazy enough to think their first feature is going to win Cannes? Me, I am. Because why not? Somebody's got to win. Why not this guy?

Nobody wants to hear from middle-aged white dudes anymore, I get that. That's my sweet disadvantage, my exciting obstacle to overcome. I've got a lot in my favor, though, too. I compost my own shit; how many middle-aged white guys do that? I'm an arch advocate and practitioner of the original solar power, sailing. I've dedicated a decade of my life to bringing consumer culture to a screeching, clanking halt — onscreen. As an aspiring executive transvestite, I have a modest collection of spiky pumps. I podcast about how to have a happy life through practical animism, magic, and just by deciding to. I'm a glorious freak. I'm a nobody. Of course I can win Cannes. Plus I know a handful of the most hilarious French-speaking people ever. Claire. Laurence. My brother Ndong and his daughters. They will help. I even speak a little French. Je suis au régime de ravissement, de splendeur. I am on a diet of rapture, splendor.

We'll surely revisit this magnificent sky castle in future episodes. So now you know. That's what we accomplished today. I outed myself, threw down the gauntlet. The campaign begins here and now. For your consideration...

That's Episode 113, Get Ready. Daughter of Godcast Season Three, Summer Vacation. Dragging out the paradigm to the extreme. Summer Vacation, phah! This is the end of October — when was my last swim in wild waters? Not that long ago, actually. AND I've still got local watermelons to eat. Summer is an idea, a perspective, a choice. Wim Hof showed us we carry our summers inside. Raise your arms and help me call for an epic winter! Bring on the overcast and snow, bring on the subzero temperatures for weeks on end. We'll be stars by contrast, each of us our own sun, radiant with love and robust metabolism. Give us the frigid dark and we'll shine all the brighter.


  1. Pam Kelly on October 24, 2018 at 6:44 am

    Oh, I’m with you on the cold, snowy winter! Warm slush is not up my alley–too hard to shovel, for one thing, and rotten under cross country skis. As for Cannes–bonne chance a toi, mon petit frere! Je vais t’accompanger a la fete! Apporte ton smoking. E forse anche Venezia, perche no? Mi piace molto Venezia. E squisito.

    • Dan from dog.movie on October 26, 2018 at 12:04 pm

      Oui and sì, mi hermana, ma sœur, mia sorella. Thanks for performing your big sister duties so adroitly… bar raised. Cannes AND Venice! You and your already famous spouse are certainly on the VIP list, we’ll storm both festivals. Your savvy and sparkling multi-lingual presence will be crucial components of maximum fun. I’m slipping into my inner tuxedo right now!

  2. The Cosmos on January 14, 2019 at 5:36 pm

    From: Jil Johnson <thejiljohnson@
    Subject: Re: Daughter of Godcast 113, Get Ready
    Date: October 23, 2018 at 7:43:47 PM EDT
    To: Uncle Joe

    Exhilarating episode!

    From: Uncle Joe aka Shri Fugi Spilt
    Subject: Re: Daughter of Godcast 113, Get Ready
    Date: October 23, 2018 at 10:45:10 PM EDT
    To: Jil Johnson <thejiljohnson@

    You are the best audience ever!

    From: Jil Johnson <thejiljohnson@
    Subject: Re: Daughter of Godcast 113, Get Ready
    Date: October 24, 2018 at 8:20:35 AM EDT
    To: Uncle Joe aka Shri Fugi Spilt

    YOU. ARE.CAPTIVATING. Thank you for the talk yesterday.

Leave a Comment

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.