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A podcast about movie making and the science fiction featurette, Daughter of God, with Director Shri Fugi Spilt, (Dan Kelly). Daughter of Godcast, 045, Park. Theme Park that is, specifically Earth. Bad Birthday brings boons!
Here we are with episode 045 of the Daughter of Godcast, Park. Specifically, theme park.
2015 started so funky. Winning my trademark challenge, getting my favorite motorcycle, loosing my lover... almost ready to realize that the transformation of intensity into clarity can be a very organic and easy process, as long we don't muddy the water with blame or insecurity.
At the start of 2015, my water was quite murky.
Rather than dwelling on what isn't ideal for us, we can turn our attention towards what we might enjoy while fostering a sense of excited anticipation. Like throwing sun bricks into the sky and building a levitating citadel. Cultivating a lush cloud garden. Entertaining dreams and desires. Climbing the rainbow.
In spring of 2015, I noticed the rainbow was a ladder.
That's theme park earth, my current cosmology. Borrowing heavily from Abraham Hicks with a few original flourishes, here's the executive summary. As divine creators, we enter duality (terrible or terrific, boy or girl, you or me, day or night) to expand. Duality is how the divine grows.
Wait, if the divine is all there is, then how can the divine grow? Exactly. Duality is a way of making everything more. As we (humans, moles, amoebas) play with limitation, or wrangle with intensity, we discover desires that have never before existed in space and time. The divine then rushes into those desires and becomes them. Earth as theme park of the gods, a vast simulation of separation and limitation. We divinities incarnate in flesh and perhaps even wood or stone. For instance, I am pulling off a virtuosic portrayal of Dan Kelly, human being. I'm killing it. Taking on labels and categories that define me as one thing and not another. I am an artist and not a fire hydrant.
Religions and science help sustain our suspension of disbelief. They reinforce the perspective that we are limited, full stop. We buy into them because they offer a fun house reflection of the truth - the promise of slightly more freedom later, either after we die or when the technology is a little further along.
Meanwhile, my whole long life, I've intuited (which is to say, known) there's another way. My experience suggests that there are no limits. I've had impossible things happen to me, I've heard stories about impossible things from trusted friends.
Those first 5 months of 2015, I was wrangling and struggling, preparing to shed my skin, to loose an ill fitting self concept. The bad birthday was a breakthrough, an upgrade into more of myself. A re-remembering way more of who I really am, full on.
In my life, I've appreciated frequent reminders, theme park Earth is pretty compelling. Gods love to play! The 2015 spring epiphany was that amnesia isn't required for play, we can play here AND be fully what we are. That's the mind blower.
As a world builder, I love that theme park earth accounts for the wild range of experience here. Everything fits in, both the mundane and inexplicable enjoy context, the story is internally consistent. I also love the irrelevance of the bearded old white dude in a toga. I like togas, don't get me wrong. What doesn't work for me is external authority. I like taking responsibility for my experience. I like being ultimately responsible for my life.
Here's another story. Along with all the pleasure and deep rapport, my lover gave me a boon, she helped me learn how to end blame and judgement, to remember who I am and that I am by nature, impossible. I dove into Marshall Rosenberg and NVC so that we could communicate more clearly AND was then set up for maximum receptivity to Kari's teasing session in April, which brought that trickster Abraham Hicks onto my radar.
and I got a new tiny rhyming screenplay out of the whole thing too. A man and a woman, once lovers now friends, in conversation.
Love? Was, Now What? Volume 1,
January 15, 2015 Deep Archive
(conversationally) she – there was this time he – two three years ago she – when we were totally in love she – now were pretty close (leaning in, smiles) he – not lovers tho (laughing) she – no no (sobering) he – but we’ve done, dealt with, a lot (serious) she – yeah trust (nodding, half smile) he – trust, we’ve got (brightly) she – and we help each other through (pragmatically) he – the occasional heartbreak (finishing) she – too (haltingly, eyes up scanning the archives) he – when was the last time we kissed (reading his mind) she – the deepest? (absently, thinking) he – uh huh, shading to fey… (fidgeting – looking into her lap) she – awhile I’d say (turning to her, wryly) he – or was it just the other day (conspiritorial) she – wanna try a taste now (straight man) he – purely for science (comic) she – and how (a little shy at first move in on each other. both turn toward camera and look right into lens, at first embarrassed, then hamming it like they are making private porn, goofing. Inevitably pulled back into their shared moment which is much more magnetic than the camera, the audience. Gravitationally attracted to each other, starts with very gentle kiss, barely contact. the tentative rediscovery of a forgotten super power. Then more.)
I couldn't make Daughter of God and stay the same person. One might argue that the passage of time alone is enough to change us, and perhaps we ARE always expanding no matter what happens, fun or frustrating. We are constantly jumping into crevasses that we have no clue how to climb out of, and then we either wait to die there or poof, we become someone who can climb out of the crevass. That's just what we do, with time. If you're not jumping into crevasses, maybe you'll get lucky and fall into one. Or get lured, like Joe Fernwright in PKD's the Galactic Pothealer.
Excerpted from Blackstone Audio read by Tom Parker.
After 10 years of movie making, a lot of receipts pile up. Somewhere there were several shoeboxes full of fading paper. Releasing a movie includes being able to document ownership for all the various media, establishing chain of title. For a totally original production with no licensed copyrighted content, chain of title is mostly about having releases for actors and locations, but also about accounting. In 2015 I recruited a series of data entry elves to bring all that fading paper into Quickbooks - Rene, Brianna, Joe and Bennie.
Just before my birthday in May, I realized I was trying too hard to create community via Michigan Movie Makers and the local improv dance group, Dance Benzie. Originally I had conceived of them both contributing to my movie master plan. Now they felt like distractions. They were both still essentially one man bands, and not only distractions, but motivated on some level by insecurity, a need for external recognition and appreciation. Clarity, phew. Time to fade out.
July 4th was yesterday, me sitting by the lake with the rental dog, skipping the Frankfort parade and all the fun folks at Joe's rough art show. Exactly two years ago, this.
July 4, 2015
[snip] The practices, my practices are about going deeper, experiencing more and more the amazing deliciousness of being a human, specifically playing the Dan Kelly game adroitly, virtuousically, audaciously, with joy and gratitude. What fun it could be to be me, if only I decided to play, remembered to play, revelled in the chance to play. All these things that I do, that supposedly define me are indeed wider opportunities to be alive, expanding the chances to glimpse something amazing. I want to be in touch with what's amazing, I want to feel amazing and be amazing, yes? I want to live gloriously, epically, I have a lot to work with in my game. What is winning? It's feeling great and magnetizing the abundance of the universe to me. That's divinity incarnate. Being GOD feels GOOD!
You've been playing the Daughter of Godcast game, episode 045, Park. Together melting gobs of cotton candy when we're not screaming ourselves giddy, riding the rides. A mythic parable with hardly a pretense at movie making, this is of course the movie of our lives. Starring you and me, we just shot another scene. Angels wrapped in brown paper forgetting to be human with a podcast about the longest little movie ever, Daughter of God. You're killing it.